release of report books

what seems like an ordinary monday turns out to be a rather emotional one.

it was the day that i have to inform my pupils who are the ones being channelled to the foundation stream. 10 pupils are going to the foundation stream. not within my expectation. and it seems that all i takes is their results and i don't have much say in this. however during the sbb meeting on 4 Nov, it seems that the p gives me the respect for me to see whether the other pupils from the other classes are really suitable to be given the foundation stream. i didn't feel so strongly when i knew so many pupils are going out of my class. not until yesterday when i felt it so strongly.

one of my pupils was very shocked when he realised he was going into another class. when i called him out to ask about him, he cried. i felt very sad and i teared a little too. i felt that it was my fault not being able to help him enough to stay in the standard stream. :'(

and that episode happened before recess, one more after recess. the period after their music was supposed to be ftgp period.

i walked up the class and saw a group of 6 or 7 malay girls from my class standing outside the classroom. all teary and sad. then one of them urged each other to walk over to me...the next minute was indeed very memorable.

they all came forward to me to hug and cry and say that they will miss me. i told them that i may not be the teacher teaching them next year before their recess and they all cried...really hard. tears welled up in my eyes almost immediately as well. i was very touched by their hugs and tears...a few of them are changing class, most of them are staying in the standard stream. i think that instant was when i realised i really might have impacted their lives after all.

i don't know what to expect next year. almost every year, crying seems to be a usual routine for me. partly also because this year there was so much more additional stress for me in my new roles and duties in school and the changes in the other part of my life. i think i have grown much this year, much more experiences that i have shed tears for. i have to grow to be stronger, no more tears at work next time.

i will try  :)

this marks the end of the year.

and next up, i can finally settle my emotions at work and be all ready for my wedding! :)