byebye the uncertainty! :D

yeah!!!!!!!! my supervisor prof ee just called me and told me she is giving me a distinction!!! :D :D :D :D hope i din hear wrongly over the phone though :P scared my ears playing tricks on me! :X but seriously, somehow i felt the weight of all the uncertainty and waiting a little torturous. while i have fewer lessons to plan now cuz my CT is taking back the English lessons to do revision with the class, i can't reali relax with the moderation thing bothering me at the back of my mind. like what ms siah said, to be given the chance to go for moderation, we should work towards getting it. and only after hearing what she said, only then i realised yes, i should grab hold of my chance after all:) which i did, and i won't say that the moderator watched a perfect lesson considering that the students that day are not really at their best performance and my lesson was heavily disrupted due to assembly, i thought i did what i can to show the moderator what i can do with my class. portraying a level of confidence in front of the students certainly left a good impression for the moderator. according to prof ee, both of them discussed whether i should be awarded the distinction and the moderator asked if i was consistently good. and reali million thanks to prof ee to think me so up :P she told the moderator that i was consistently good and i guess with this comment it booster my chance to clinch the distinction. thank you so much prof ee, though i thanked you dunno how many times over the phone liao :))))))))))))))))))))))

and today's the chinese department hy and xw having their moderation. their moderation was pre-arranged since last week! haha...i dun have such a privilege lor, a bit jealous of them but well, the fact that any teacher or moderator can walk into my class and see my potential as a good teacher, im sure my distinction is well deserved compared to theirs. not complaining here lar, just that sometimes things are just not fair. and to be honest if my comments are worth any points of consideration, i think hy has a lot more to work on to be even better according to what she shared with us today after her talk with the moderator. her moderator was full of praises for xw when she briefed hy after her lesson. and to think that hy was thinking she was better than xw cuz her sup (same as xw) was full of praises for her than to xw. but well, sometimes is not all about the saying and how good relationships were bridged. it is definitely how good one really are that matters. i rmb my nie lecturer was teaching me how to be fun yet practical in our lessons, i definitely kept that deeply etched in my mind. and honestly speaking, sometimes hy's ideas can be really creative but not as practical in terms of preparation. i am really close to her and that's how i feel as a colleague and as a friend. not saying that she dun deserve any title or wat, again, things are never fair on this world. and like wat my scm was saying, the CL department seems to see distinction like sth very common, so common that it can be pre-planned, it can be so easily gotten. and i think she sympathise me for that. haha...oh well, what's over is over. more politics and unhappy stuff will come if we do not have an open mind :) and i think is time for me to say, "Welcome to the real teaching world" heehee....

yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~~~ just feel like screaming my head off! :D

and that's the end of ALL my OBSERVATIONS!!!

hahahaha...my heading sounds so happy rite, actually got a rather mixed up feeling. havent have the time to blog about my practicum so far. i must say it has been really smooth-sailing for me. with wonderful CTs, colleagues, friends and students, what more do i have to ask for? the only thing that is worrying me most now is whether i will be posted back to corporation primary school. and i swear that i will cry the hell out of me if i dun get to go back there. had a timetabled time (level meeting) today with my principal and vice princial today and they were assuring me that i will definitely be going back, i still cant help but worry!!!! haiz....hopefully my wish come true cuz i seriously cannot imagine how am i goin to face another totally new school that is going to be so foreign to me if i am not posted back to cps! so........*cross fingers* until my next update! :) and.........yes, i've cleared ALL my observations as of today!!!! that's y i see the need to blog about it too! hahaha...actually i've cleared my observations last week. observations that are required of me to complete in this 10weeks of practicum. and i'm a little proud of myself that my SCM, supervisor and teachers think highly of me and recommended me to go for distinction! haha...and over the weekend i was really preparing well all my detailed lesson plans, all ready for this week cuz i was told the moderator will just drop by any time, at any lesson which means all my lessons (including the single periods) must be steady steady and super engaging!!! haha...not really that difficult a task for me cuz i have been trying to keep up to this standard since the very first day of practicum. only sometimes i will go through corrections during my single periods. so i racked my brains to do something useful and engaging for all my periods and have planned my lessons all the way till about wednesday already. but guess what! the moderator came today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha...i won't say that i am really surprised (or should i say i am really very steady :P) haha, but i took everything just very calmly today and conducted a disrupted lesson due to assembly! our assembly period is on Mondays, one period in between the curriculum time, so today, as per normal, assembly starts at 11am and when it should end at 1130am, it dragged all the way till 1150am!!! which means my 2 periods of lesson left about a period!!! haha...but i thought it was ok leh, and i just cut short all the things i do and go straight to my game! played "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" with my students today! haha...actually im quite glad too that the moderator chose to come today actually. at least i have a solid activity for her to see how i go about handling it. everything went on fine, just that the class was exceptionally chatty today!!! argh~~~~~~ but still ok la, just that i have to repeat my commands "Sailors Onboard!" many many times to quieten them down :) oh, and did i mention that i only remembered to do my individual worksheet only at 11am! hahaha...i think i should have just banged myself into the wall. i can happily mark my other work and forget everything about printing and doing the worksheet. that is the problem when the lesson plan was prepared to well ahead of time:P and i just pulled the students' Synthesis and Transformation workbook and took down some of the sentences the majority of the students have gotten it wrong in their previous practices and type it out as my worksheet! haha...how genius i am rite, tsk tsk tsk. and rite, my SCM actually knew the moderator was here at around 1120am. but the moderator told her not to inform me! haha...and rite, she was so sneaky and kept smiling at me non-stop and told me Eng CT to just let me bring the class back to classroom on my own. was a little weird cuz usually this 2periods my CT will sit in informally for my lesson......hahaha...and i was just telling my fren hongyan i got a feeling that the moderator is here! and voooof! there she was! :) and the lesson ended promptly with a brief lesson summary of what the students have managed to recap on, the connectors that they have learnt over the weeks. i wun say that i am anxious or wat, cuz being observed by someone during my lesson just seems to be so "comfortable" that i dun really feel anything anymore :) when i walked out of the classroom my SCM, Ms Siah was talking to the moderator Dr Wong. and when i walked over Dr Wong said congratulations?! i seriously dunno what it means cuz Ms Siah said she has to discuss with my supervisor again. plus she mentioned to Ms Siah that i am a very confident teacher, innovative lesson cuz of the activity, just that i have to monitor more closely on students during the lesson. not sure if these comments are more positive or more negative and the only thing i can do is to wait patiently for the results. and i think this feeling of waiting is a little torturous and i do hope is some good news coming back :S only after today that i realised i do hope that i can get the distinction that my superiors all think that i should strive to work towards to. i did my best, throughout the practicum. not only to my formal observations but to each and every lesson that i deliver and i am glad for such an opportunity to get moderator to come in and observe my lesson. and deep down within me i am hoping for the best, though if is sth not as good, disappointed i may be, but i know i have done my very best :) and with the end of the last observation, i felt a little sense of emptiness coming within me. hahaha.... :) jiayou to all my friends who are still clearing their observations! :)

and is coming to the end of 6th week :)

and after the many weeks that has passed, is already into the end of 6th week of practicum already! realised i got a little bit of time to update a little today so here i am! :) (which is rarely the case cuz everyday time just zoomed pass and the endless lesson plans just keep coming) completed 8 observations so far, next week another 1 or 2 and im done :) may go for the distinction moderation, which means i will probably have a week of no sleep chionging super detailed and FUN and INTERESTING lessons EVERY SINGLE LESSON EVERYDAY. hahaha...abit tiring to think about it actually, and whether or not i can do it im not sure. im glad that my SCM think highly of me, am glad that my sup gave me all excelling for both my observations with her. but ultimately, even with all the praises that i get for my lessons, i think is the rapport that i get from my students that satisfy me the most. you see students yeah-ing when they see you walk into their class for lesson, you have students coming over and ask you "Will you be coming for English periods today?" and when you nod and say yes they yeah even louder :) i am tired. very tired with all the lesson plans and i noe all my frens doing practicum are equally if not more tired than i am. but again, i get very excited when i plan something fun for the lessons! :D and i am glad i feel for my lesson. next week my SCM and probably the P is sitting in to observe together with my CT. dun feel particularly gan chiong about it but i just hope that i can do even better than what i have been doing. is all this personal aims that drives me on. :) Come on chiok hwee fen, hang on there! :)